For anyone who knows me, they know that I am a horrible Completer of tasks. I start many things but rarely finish them. I'm not going to beat around the bush, I am starting a life of celibacy TODAY, and I am going to stay Celibate, until I DIE!
In an attempt to STARVE my sexual desires, and ultimately KILL them, I know this will make me stronger.
Today: (Sat.) July 23rd, 2011
2 Day's without any Sexual activity.
ME:
I feel great, I feel as if I should quit smoking, of course I won't for a while. I almost got hit coming home from Target because people suck at driving and I was on a bike. I have for about 3 years attempted to remain celibate, the longest being about 3 months. Every time I have always found a way to give into temptations, what usually induces the relapse is negative self attitude and views towards my goal of being celibate.
Like I said before, I haven't been Sexual in about 4 days, so I believe I am still very much a minor threat to my adversary of the spirit world that attacks and thwarts any attempts at being Holy. We will see as the day's proceed how hard it gets. From past experiences, right before you reach , "The Peak" of sexual perfection, you usually have the hardest time with the most doubt, frustration, negative feelings toward goal, against stream views, road blocks, people who disagree, manifestation's of impulses, and lack of interest, but in this Blog, I will use it as a road guide, and tour guide to feed my Goal and I will not fail myself. Not this time, not after so many tries.
Guide to past attempts (generally after a relapse of sexual abstinence)
Throughout my past journey's Abstinence/Celibacy have brought me into a deeper connection with God and the world he created, I interact with it better and my view's are much more clear. My eyes have become very pure and undefiled and I have grown in strength both Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. My overall progress in life is better and the most growth I have ever experienced occurred while being Pure.
Wish me luck all, and most of All Phillipians 4:13 "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"
In an attempt to STARVE my sexual desires, and ultimately KILL them, I know this will make me stronger.
Today: (Sat.) July 23rd, 2011
2 Day's without any Sexual activity.
ME:
I feel great, I feel as if I should quit smoking, of course I won't for a while. I almost got hit coming home from Target because people suck at driving and I was on a bike. I have for about 3 years attempted to remain celibate, the longest being about 3 months. Every time I have always found a way to give into temptations, what usually induces the relapse is negative self attitude and views towards my goal of being celibate.
Like I said before, I haven't been Sexual in about 4 days, so I believe I am still very much a minor threat to my adversary of the spirit world that attacks and thwarts any attempts at being Holy. We will see as the day's proceed how hard it gets. From past experiences, right before you reach , "The Peak" of sexual perfection, you usually have the hardest time with the most doubt, frustration, negative feelings toward goal, against stream views, road blocks, people who disagree, manifestation's of impulses, and lack of interest, but in this Blog, I will use it as a road guide, and tour guide to feed my Goal and I will not fail myself. Not this time, not after so many tries.
Guide to past attempts (generally after a relapse of sexual abstinence)
- Hope (Feelings of Hope towards a life of Celibacy, causing action taken) days 1-3 days
- Excitement (Feelings of Freedom and New Found Joy in steps being taken) days 3-5
- Opposition (Beginnings of Oppostion due to Negative Spiritual torment, Opposed Human views, Sexual Media, Sexual Frustration, and Honestly in General, life gets harder)days 5- weeks
- The Battle (Much battle with Temptation, Doubt, Inner-conflict, Frustration, Sexual Thoughts, Sexual Media, Sexuality in general)
- The Choice (This is the point when you generally give up, for me it's been when I reach about 3-5 months, I just give up and think it is pointless, or give in somehow, in other words, I stopped keeping watch and gave in due to laziness and much subtlety of the devil's scheme) -------haven't gotten past stage 5---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Peak (This is the top of the mountain, you reach a point of "swimming of stream" and you finally reach the lake you have dreamed, hoped, and worked SO hard for. at "The Peak" I will look back at all the progress I have made, and be very, very thankful that I tried SO hard to reach the point I am at)
- Body Mastery (This is the ultimate goal and Destination to reach, Complete Self Mastery, my body becoming my own personal slave, every temptation, feeling, thought, impulse will be mastered by myself),
Throughout my past journey's Abstinence/Celibacy have brought me into a deeper connection with God and the world he created, I interact with it better and my view's are much more clear. My eyes have become very pure and undefiled and I have grown in strength both Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. My overall progress in life is better and the most growth I have ever experienced occurred while being Pure.
Wish me luck all, and most of All Phillipians 4:13 "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"
No comments:
Post a Comment