I am working hard at staying pure, I still smoke ciggarettes and I have refrained from sex, I don't feed any Sexual appetite, and it's been really good so far.
I got kicked out of the house I am living at because I brought up the idea that the Conviction I was given about me watching porn wasn't true and they really didn't know what I was watching. I was angry and felt like they were trapping me in something to condemn me somehow. I ended up confronting them and got kicked out. I now am back at the house after a day of being out on the streets, and well... IT SUCKED. I haven't been so uncomfortable and lost in a long time, I prayed a lot and eventually God led me to some great people who advised me to ask for forgiveness and come home. So I did. I also learned how important Eye Contact is, and how much people are turned off if you don't give it to them.
I haven't had many urges, but I do feel like it boost's my ego by not having sex, like i have this bubble inside of me that expands, especially around others. I am a very sexual person, though I am not. it's like, deep inside, I know Sex isn't really important, especially for friendships, but I do know that with my wife, If I were to have one, I would remain celibate before marriage, in hopes that it would create a better sex life for the rest of my life, with the one person I was intended to have it with.
I feel Good, I am looking for a job so hopefully I can channel my energy in my job search direction. I am reaching upwards for strength and promise that I am called to be Sexually abstinent and pure as it is God's will for my life.
I didn't think much about Sex while out in the baking florida heat, but rather I thought about shelter, jobs, money, water, food, ciggarettes, Love, and togetherness, Sex was the least of my cares and if it were the first, I do not think I would survive, especially if i wasn't purely just using it as a tool to suck off of the person giving to me. Maybe a lot of people have sex with others, because they need something from them and the only way that person will give it is by Sex, and even after they don't give.
I don't think a lot of people like me, especially when I am not giving into my temptations, I think they assume that I am full of ego and stuff or whatever, I just sense this feeling of disdain when I meet people and it is really discomforting on my goals, but there are a lot of things that WE HUMANS don't talk about, especially in society, so I could not bring this up for fear of me looking stupid, fear of others feeling stupid, fear of risking relationships, I don't say things because they can damage myself, and others. I want to build people up, and put a stone in them, GOD. not only to build them up then break them down, but build them up with a structure that will last.
I think a lot about other things when sex isn't a priority on my list, like Major things become more important and least important things because trivial. and the trivial is just there because it's for your entertainment.
I got kicked out of the house I am living at because I brought up the idea that the Conviction I was given about me watching porn wasn't true and they really didn't know what I was watching. I was angry and felt like they were trapping me in something to condemn me somehow. I ended up confronting them and got kicked out. I now am back at the house after a day of being out on the streets, and well... IT SUCKED. I haven't been so uncomfortable and lost in a long time, I prayed a lot and eventually God led me to some great people who advised me to ask for forgiveness and come home. So I did. I also learned how important Eye Contact is, and how much people are turned off if you don't give it to them.
I haven't had many urges, but I do feel like it boost's my ego by not having sex, like i have this bubble inside of me that expands, especially around others. I am a very sexual person, though I am not. it's like, deep inside, I know Sex isn't really important, especially for friendships, but I do know that with my wife, If I were to have one, I would remain celibate before marriage, in hopes that it would create a better sex life for the rest of my life, with the one person I was intended to have it with.
I feel Good, I am looking for a job so hopefully I can channel my energy in my job search direction. I am reaching upwards for strength and promise that I am called to be Sexually abstinent and pure as it is God's will for my life.
I didn't think much about Sex while out in the baking florida heat, but rather I thought about shelter, jobs, money, water, food, ciggarettes, Love, and togetherness, Sex was the least of my cares and if it were the first, I do not think I would survive, especially if i wasn't purely just using it as a tool to suck off of the person giving to me. Maybe a lot of people have sex with others, because they need something from them and the only way that person will give it is by Sex, and even after they don't give.
I don't think a lot of people like me, especially when I am not giving into my temptations, I think they assume that I am full of ego and stuff or whatever, I just sense this feeling of disdain when I meet people and it is really discomforting on my goals, but there are a lot of things that WE HUMANS don't talk about, especially in society, so I could not bring this up for fear of me looking stupid, fear of others feeling stupid, fear of risking relationships, I don't say things because they can damage myself, and others. I want to build people up, and put a stone in them, GOD. not only to build them up then break them down, but build them up with a structure that will last.
I think a lot about other things when sex isn't a priority on my list, like Major things become more important and least important things because trivial. and the trivial is just there because it's for your entertainment.
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