Radiohead

Day: 3 w.o.

I've been tempted a lot today to be Sexual, but I am not repressing the thoughts and actions, but rather just admitting them and giving them up, I don't have to feed them, so I don't and plus I am supposed to be pure, so giving into them would be denying my True nature of what I am supposed to be like.

The more I don't give in to them I become like a big fire hydrant getting ready to explode, but I gotta stay positive about it, if I feel like it is too much pressure, then I'll give up on myself, and I already made the decision to stay pure MY WHOLE LIFE. So I am going to stick with it. I'll suture up eventually, I think open sexuality is like a wound that needs healing, and it takes time to heal, so I am not hoping for anything Soon.

I just got done watching Radiohead: The King of Limbs (from the basement) and it was an awesome show, their music sounds just as good if not better live. I find a greater appreciation for art and stuff when I am pure, with a defiled heart, it's just mambo jambo, but I see things clearer. I've been thinking a lot more, and my thoughts are much more active, my self-image and self attitude is also greater and more powerful, I do feel like I can do anything right now and be anything.

I need a job, maybe I can fuel my energy towards getting one, it's also sunday, I've been waking up real late, I need to get my sleep cycle back on track. I also need to do a lot of things, Like get into school if I am going and get all my stuff from my ex-roommate.

5:12 A.M.

I keep seeing that people who grow up as footballers are much different in their attitudes, philosophies, and ways of holding themselves than those who grow up as PUNKS, or SKATEBOARDERS.


God's will for my life is to be Sexually Abstinent.


So, I see I grow up as I stay pure, I don't have a feeling of being under people, I actually feel equal, or superior to people, especially those opposing my views and idea's. I get much more consecrated in my own views and way's of view's, I hate it and love it, Love because I am confident in what I know, Hate it because I may know all that's is wrong, and I am becoming very CONCRETE in what I view and think, but I talk and take in a vast majority of views, the goal is to continue, therefore I can become sure of what I know, and confident in what I know to be TRUTH.


Yeah, so I haven't been tempted much today, Honestly, I haven't been stimulated much, Sex hasn't been much in my life today, well, yesterday, but I haven't slept yet. I view myself in Stage 1 or 2 again.


I feel good being pure, I feel strong, I feel confident, I feel on top of the world and that I can take on a lot of the challenges that will be thrown my way. I hope that I can handle all I do. this confidence is good, considering Paul said "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phillipians 4:13

"Before children, even the most cynical people throw down their usual masks and become capable of feeling the purity and love which all human beings seek."- Sun Myung Moon 


"It is astonishing what force, purity, and wisdom it requires for a human being to keep clear of falsehoods." - Margaret Fuller 


I don't care what anyone say's, I am grateful for who I am and for the upbringing I had, no matter what it entailed, it made me who I am and what I am is full of it, Full of Love. Any Love I have, I attempt to give it to those who need it.